Someone asked me to talk about the new Assassin dataslate. There have been many reviews of the new Codex: Assassins. But mine is to be the best one.
To begin, I can't stress enough that they are all four T4, W3 models rocking a 4++ (Yes, some have Invisbility of sorts.). They cost far more than one would reasonably wish to pay for such a squishy piece. They are also all on foot, and therefore slow. Since three of the four are short-ranged, the slowness is crippling. Everybody builds lists with fast stuff: bikes, jetbikes, Serpents, Warp Spiders, Hounds, Screamers, teleporting Grav Cents, Knights, Wraithknights... We do not bring models on foot with a very short range.
Oh, and also, it eats up your ally or detachment slot in the very sensible two source format. Though they may modify it to say two sources plus an assassin.
With these rather considerable deficiencies in mind, we shall begin our review.
Callidus
How a chick gets to be far beefier than a Space Marine is a point to ponder. The 100 lb supermodel that takes down 300 lb bodyguards with ease is a very tired movie trope. But anyone who has ever played co-ed kickball knows better. I mean, have you ever seen a girl try to play kickball? They kick the ball halfway back to the server then run to the wrong base and everyone is all yelling at them and telling them they're going the wrong way and they just look around confused. But in the 41st Millenium, girls can apparently get beefed up enough to take down genetically engineered superhumans and kill Primarchs, but they probably are still bad at kickball.
Long ago, the Callidus was intended as a General killer who also had some abilities to mess with your army. I think she may have been good at the job once. Now she has five attacks on the charge, of which three will hit, two will wound a T4 model, and the 3++ will save them unless she got a 6, at which point she gets a whuppin' from the General and his flunkies.
In addition to being what anyone would consider a poor melee character choice for an HQ (you would never choose a model with these features as your Warlord), she also packs a gun that is the equivalent of Breath of Chaos, which sounds good at first, but then you remember that it kills only half of what it hits, and templates that hit more than four models without having torrent are rare, so it's nothing to write home about. The old Tzeentch Flamer spam where we used to eradicate entire units with this uber template was a thing. One template is not a thing. It is two dead Space Marines on your way to failing to make your points back.
In the end, what you are left with is a model that has no prayer of killing Draigo, or that Chapter Master on a bike, and won't live long enough to do any appreciable damage. They should have made her more dangerous since this is the sort of strong, independent female model that might attract more women to the hobby like half the community was fretting about for two weeks about a year ago. But I once asked my wife if she would ever be interested in learning 40k. I remember it well. Here's how it went:
Me: Do you think that you would like to play Warhammer 40,000, wife?
Wife: No.
Me: Why?
Wife: I do not think that it is interesting.
Me: Do you think that if they made models that appealed to women that you would then want to play Warhammer 40,000?
Wife: No.
She'd rather bake cakes and do little carpentry projects than push models around a table and roll dice. Sounds good to me! Girls like the most boring stuff, like scrapbooking, and Diane Keaton movies. No Diane Keaton in 40k!
Vindicare
There was a movie about snipers in WW2 Russia called Enemy At The Gates which was pretty interesting. You may not have seen it because it doesn't have Diane Keaton in it, but I recommend you enjoy it in the comfort and privacy of your own closet.
Near as I can tell, this dude is decent for sniping the Grimoire out of units so long as he can wound on a 4+, and the target fails its LOS on a 5+, and then fails its invuln save if you picked the D3 wounds shot. How does that work, by the way? Do you have to save D3 wounds? Or do you suffer D3 if you fail the one save? If you have to save D3 wounds, could you not then LOS all of them? Anyway even that assumes you let him have line of sight to the model.
He's also got an AP2 rail gun, which is okay, though there are better ways to crack heavy armor for 150 points. It's nice to know that even if there is no lascannon to snipe out of that tactical squad because nobody actually takes those, you'll still have something worth shooting at.
He's probably the best assassin, because if you set him up high in a fortified ruin next to a Thunderfire, he just might do something useful. So he gets to be King Shit of Turd Island. But he's probably nowhere near worth what 150 points can get you elsewhere with all the options at your disposal these days. And you have oh so many options.
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Eversor
The crazy horde killing assassin who sucks even at that ridiculous task. Who trains an assassin to go after unimportant rank-and-file stuff?
What kind of god would allow that?
He costs 135 points and gets a bunch of attacks on the charge, and is worse than 135 points worth of Flesh Hounds that do the same thing pretty well. 135 points worth of a lot of things could do the same thing he does as well or better. They should have made him a monstrous creature killer or something because he has fleshbane, but no AP. So he charges in and kills 2/3 of the 6 point Termagants he swings at, and then gets pawed to death by the rest of them.
At least he gots meltabombs so he can go after distant vehicles that no doubt rolled far away after he infiltrated within 12" of them.
More like NEVERsor! Emirite??????
Culexus
Finally, we have Mr. Meta-buster, himself. The "Coolexus" Assassin, who is, apparently, awesome.
Lemme aks you a quesetion. Did you know that psykers within 12" of a Culexus don't generate warp charge and only get off powers on 6's?
You did?
Well apparently the entire internet thinks you don't because people actually think their opponent is going to allow them to get it within 12" of their pysker during his psychic phase!
Here we see a Culexus that has infiltrated within 12" of an unsuspecting Daemon player's Tzeentch Herald. A larger squad of Screamers is implied.
This will NEVER happen. EVER!
Since I do not have a Culexus, I have proxied him with a Guardsman, which is approximately as useful, though it is debatable because the Guardsman probably has Objective Secured. I have proxied a napkin holder for LOS blocking terrain. The napkin holder is also more useful than a Culexus Assassin. We'll give the assassin the first turn.
I rolled 7 Animus Speculum shots for having a ML3 psyker within 12" and spending three of my own WC during my own psychic phase. The Screamers saved four of five wounds with jinks. I probably should have taken two wounds. I did take a Perils wound from the psyk out grenade.
The Daemon player then moves outside of 12" during his movement phase. The Tzerald may now generate warp charge. During the shooting phase, the Culexus will die to slashing attacks from the other Screamers that are implied to be within the squad. Or they'll all just fly far, far away.
Now, supposing your opponent gets really super clever and puts his Culexus in a Storm Raven because that is a good idea.
That there is a Storm Raven. You probably can't tell from the picture, but inside is a Culexus Assassin! It has to keep its base 1" away from my unit. Whatever shall I do?
I measured, and there is no way to position a Storm Raven so that a psyker with a 12" move cannot get outside of 12" from the hull unless you chop the stand.
Since the only psykers of note that anyone takes on foot are Tigurius, Draigo and Grey Knight Librarians, the Culexus is mainly useful against the Grav Star if it can get within 6" of Draigo so it can't port away forever. Infiltrating within 12" is never going to happen. A Turn 1 drop pod will not work because your opponent will bubble wrap and gate away. So you will have to stash a Culexus in a flyer or come in from reserve in a pod to pull it off.
You're not seriously going to sit there and tell me you're going to bring a Culexus in a Storm Raven or Vendetta to maybe shut down one build for one turn, is you?
No, folks, the Culexus is 100% worthless against the overwhelming majority of psykers in the game, and is the ultimate corner case for stopping one build that may or may not be any good.
Coolexus? More like SUXlexus!!! Emirite??????
As for countermeasures to these terrors of the battlefield, keep your Grimoire-bearing Tzerald out of LOS of the Vindicare and charge or slash them to death. Move away and slash Culexuses. You'll never see the other two, if you see any at all.
To begin, I can't stress enough that they are all four T4, W3 models rocking a 4++ (Yes, some have Invisbility of sorts.). They cost far more than one would reasonably wish to pay for such a squishy piece. They are also all on foot, and therefore slow. Since three of the four are short-ranged, the slowness is crippling. Everybody builds lists with fast stuff: bikes, jetbikes, Serpents, Warp Spiders, Hounds, Screamers, teleporting Grav Cents, Knights, Wraithknights... We do not bring models on foot with a very short range.
Oh, and also, it eats up your ally or detachment slot in the very sensible two source format. Though they may modify it to say two sources plus an assassin.
With these rather considerable deficiencies in mind, we shall begin our review.
Callidus
How a chick gets to be far beefier than a Space Marine is a point to ponder. The 100 lb supermodel that takes down 300 lb bodyguards with ease is a very tired movie trope. But anyone who has ever played co-ed kickball knows better. I mean, have you ever seen a girl try to play kickball? They kick the ball halfway back to the server then run to the wrong base and everyone is all yelling at them and telling them they're going the wrong way and they just look around confused. But in the 41st Millenium, girls can apparently get beefed up enough to take down genetically engineered superhumans and kill Primarchs, but they probably are still bad at kickball.
Long ago, the Callidus was intended as a General killer who also had some abilities to mess with your army. I think she may have been good at the job once. Now she has five attacks on the charge, of which three will hit, two will wound a T4 model, and the 3++ will save them unless she got a 6, at which point she gets a whuppin' from the General and his flunkies.
In addition to being what anyone would consider a poor melee character choice for an HQ (you would never choose a model with these features as your Warlord), she also packs a gun that is the equivalent of Breath of Chaos, which sounds good at first, but then you remember that it kills only half of what it hits, and templates that hit more than four models without having torrent are rare, so it's nothing to write home about. The old Tzeentch Flamer spam where we used to eradicate entire units with this uber template was a thing. One template is not a thing. It is two dead Space Marines on your way to failing to make your points back.
In the end, what you are left with is a model that has no prayer of killing Draigo, or that Chapter Master on a bike, and won't live long enough to do any appreciable damage. They should have made her more dangerous since this is the sort of strong, independent female model that might attract more women to the hobby like half the community was fretting about for two weeks about a year ago. But I once asked my wife if she would ever be interested in learning 40k. I remember it well. Here's how it went:
Me: Do you think that you would like to play Warhammer 40,000, wife?
Wife: No.
Me: Why?
Wife: I do not think that it is interesting.
Me: Do you think that if they made models that appealed to women that you would then want to play Warhammer 40,000?
Wife: No.
She'd rather bake cakes and do little carpentry projects than push models around a table and roll dice. Sounds good to me! Girls like the most boring stuff, like scrapbooking, and Diane Keaton movies. No Diane Keaton in 40k!
Vindicare
There was a movie about snipers in WW2 Russia called Enemy At The Gates which was pretty interesting. You may not have seen it because it doesn't have Diane Keaton in it, but I recommend you enjoy it in the comfort and privacy of your own closet.
Near as I can tell, this dude is decent for sniping the Grimoire out of units so long as he can wound on a 4+, and the target fails its LOS on a 5+, and then fails its invuln save if you picked the D3 wounds shot. How does that work, by the way? Do you have to save D3 wounds? Or do you suffer D3 if you fail the one save? If you have to save D3 wounds, could you not then LOS all of them? Anyway even that assumes you let him have line of sight to the model.
He's also got an AP2 rail gun, which is okay, though there are better ways to crack heavy armor for 150 points. It's nice to know that even if there is no lascannon to snipe out of that tactical squad because nobody actually takes those, you'll still have something worth shooting at.
He's probably the best assassin, because if you set him up high in a fortified ruin next to a Thunderfire, he just might do something useful. So he gets to be King Shit of Turd Island. But he's probably nowhere near worth what 150 points can get you elsewhere with all the options at your disposal these days. And you have oh so many options.
Eversor
The crazy horde killing assassin who sucks even at that ridiculous task. Who trains an assassin to go after unimportant rank-and-file stuff?
What kind of god would allow that?
He costs 135 points and gets a bunch of attacks on the charge, and is worse than 135 points worth of Flesh Hounds that do the same thing pretty well. 135 points worth of a lot of things could do the same thing he does as well or better. They should have made him a monstrous creature killer or something because he has fleshbane, but no AP. So he charges in and kills 2/3 of the 6 point Termagants he swings at, and then gets pawed to death by the rest of them.
At least he gots meltabombs so he can go after distant vehicles that no doubt rolled far away after he infiltrated within 12" of them.
More like NEVERsor! Emirite??????
Culexus
 |
Oooh, da big scary Culexus is comin' to melt your brains! |
Lemme aks you a quesetion. Did you know that psykers within 12" of a Culexus don't generate warp charge and only get off powers on 6's?
You did?
Well apparently the entire internet thinks you don't because people actually think their opponent is going to allow them to get it within 12" of their pysker during his psychic phase!
 |
| They'll Never Expect It! |
This will NEVER happen. EVER!
Since I do not have a Culexus, I have proxied him with a Guardsman, which is approximately as useful, though it is debatable because the Guardsman probably has Objective Secured. I have proxied a napkin holder for LOS blocking terrain. The napkin holder is also more useful than a Culexus Assassin. We'll give the assassin the first turn.
 |
| Ha-Ha! Fell for it! |
 |
| HOW CAN THIS BE!!! |
The Daemon player then moves outside of 12" during his movement phase. The Tzerald may now generate warp charge. During the shooting phase, the Culexus will die to slashing attacks from the other Screamers that are implied to be within the squad. Or they'll all just fly far, far away.
Now, supposing your opponent gets really super clever and puts his Culexus in a Storm Raven because that is a good idea.
 |
| This time we got him fer sure! |
That there is a Storm Raven. You probably can't tell from the picture, but inside is a Culexus Assassin! It has to keep its base 1" away from my unit. Whatever shall I do?
 |
| Gadzooks! Outfoxed again! |
Since the only psykers of note that anyone takes on foot are Tigurius, Draigo and Grey Knight Librarians, the Culexus is mainly useful against the Grav Star if it can get within 6" of Draigo so it can't port away forever. Infiltrating within 12" is never going to happen. A Turn 1 drop pod will not work because your opponent will bubble wrap and gate away. So you will have to stash a Culexus in a flyer or come in from reserve in a pod to pull it off.
You're not seriously going to sit there and tell me you're going to bring a Culexus in a Storm Raven or Vendetta to maybe shut down one build for one turn, is you?
No, folks, the Culexus is 100% worthless against the overwhelming majority of psykers in the game, and is the ultimate corner case for stopping one build that may or may not be any good.
Coolexus? More like SUXlexus!!! Emirite??????
As for countermeasures to these terrors of the battlefield, keep your Grimoire-bearing Tzerald out of LOS of the Vindicare and charge or slash them to death. Move away and slash Culexuses. You'll never see the other two, if you see any at all.